Batteling loneliness to finding life long romance

Poetry, Writer life

When nobody held my hand, poetry held my heart. Amid the depth of pain and hoping for a change, words became my forever friend. I don’t even remember the exact year but what I know is that I wrote every time I felt a strong emotion and had nobody to express it to. I used to write on the last pages of my notebooks, only to throw them away in fear that anybody would read them. I didn’t want anybody to read my words, for they contained my deepest and darkest secrets. But then the internet happened!

The internet felt like a safe place. I could easily create a pen name and post anything that I want. Nobody would know that I wrote it, and yet I would be heard. That’s how I started posting my writings on Wattpad. Those were the days when paid stories were still not a thing, so, I would spend literally hours on the app. I read to escape reality, and I wrote to vent. That’s when I decided I wanted to be a writer.


But writing is easy, being a writer not so much. Damn! It’s tough. Especially if you have a writing job, it’s really difficult to find some words for yourself after work. So, when I started this blog three years ago, I posted a poem and forgot about it until almost 2020.


2020 was crazy! By 2020, I mean the end of 2019 till a few months into 2021. This was the crazy rollercoaster ride that I’m still somehow surviving.

2019 was great. I had an amazing job, I wrote ads that played in movie theaters, and I was finally with my parents. Then, I quit my job hoping to pursue a master’s degree, and that’s when the pandemic hit. So, I was jobless and had nothing to do and I remembered that I had created this blog. Thanks to all the meaningful connections I made here, you made 2020 bearable.

Besides awesome WordPress friends, 2020 was bleh. Jobless and stuck at home, I found the cure to boredom in sad poetry. And I guess that’s when I wrote a book, a poetry collection to be more precise. This book wouldn’t have been possible with each and every encouraging words by fellow writers and readers on this blog. So, thank you so much for being a part of this journey.


Valentines Day of 2021 was when my book was supposed to be released. A perfect book for single people. 101 emotions that they wouldn’t have to feel. But then life happened, and procrastination happened, shifting the release to April 1st. It seemed like a perfect date. A book dedicated to everyone who has been fooled by love, releasing on April Fools Day.

But damn! Kindle Publishing is not as easy as it seems, not for first-timers anyway. I’m definitely going to talk about all the unexpected things I came across.

You can find the ebook version of Chronicles of a Broken Heart at https://www.amazon.com/Chronicles-Broken-Heart-Reasons-Fall-ebook/dp/B091CGFFPZ/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=chronicles+of+a+broken+heart&qid=1617208714&s=digital-text&sr=1-1

And yeah, I know it’s published two days prior to the planned date of release but I have an explanation (more like a rant) for that too. For people who prefer the feel of paper, the paperback version will be available soon. Most probably, within this week itself.

To people who’re trying to make sense of the blog title, it’s writing. Writing is my one true love, my lifelong romance.

While I can’t make any promises, I really am hoping to be super regular and follow the NaPoWriMo 2021 prompts.

Much love,
Shreya Joshi

Tech & Me

Poetry

Techy is tricky.
I really hate it!
But we have this weird bond,
That has me stunned.


My first magazine article,
By some weird miracle,
Was Cannon camera comparison,
My editor’s decision.


Then I quit the magazine,
And did something surprising.
I became a tech journalist,
And I’m just starting the list.


I found tech super perplexing,
So, I dived into digital marketing.
iFFALCON, TCL, Alcatel,
Were the brands I handled.


I got a fair share of other stuff;
Food was fun, cosmetics rough.
Believe me, I enjoyed them all,
It the opposite of dull.


Looking for something more challenging,
I dived into mainstream advertising.
I got Ncell, and Samsung too,
Writing for them was super cool.


Now, I do some freelancing,
Again tech is what I’m writing.
I doing lifestyle stuff too,
But tech never says adieu.


So, dear tricky tech,
My hate for you is fake.
I really adore you,
I know you love me too.

Find me on Insta: Wild Scared Crazy

Featured imaged by: Ali Pazani from Pexels

Bleeding at my typewriter…

Writer life

Ernest Hemingway once said, “There’s nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” But what happens, when you can’t bleed? You cut yourself a million times, you see the scars, you feel the pain, yet not a drop of blood flows. What happens when all your blood is gone, and you’re just a lump of mass? What about when you feel so dead inside? What about when everything is trapped inside you, but your skin got so thick with all the endurance that not even the sharpest sword can pierce you? What about then? How do you write when your own words betray you? How do you find words when you’ve lost yourself?

Fuck you, Hemingway, for painting such an easy picture! Words don’t come that easy.

To all the writers for whom writing is more than just or a hobby or a passion, but also a profession…
To the people who have to find words even when they have lost themselves…
To those brilliant writers who have to paint a beautiful happy day while there’s a storm raging in their lives and minds…
I salute you. Each and every one of you.

When words run dry

Poetry

Do you ever fear the day,
When all your words run dry,
There’re no emotions to write about,
Or beauty to be praised?

 
When everything seems so vain,
And you lose your desire to express,
And when you hold your beloved pen,
It’s just the empty white staring back.

 
And you try and try, with all your might,
But all your words have run dry.
There’s nothing left to express,
There’s no will to communicate.

 
You’re locked in an eerie solitude,
No, not the one that you cherish.
But one that keeps haunting you,
Makes you feel truly alone.

 
Cause even to your own self,
You have no words to say.
That’s my life’s greatest fear,
The inability to write.

 
Who am I,
If not for the things I write?
What if,
My words run dry?

Featured image by: Pixabay

Liebster Award

Awards, Writer life

Awards, aren’t they just great?! A pleasant reminder that your fellow bloggers admire your works. I dearly adore all these awards and truly respect each of you. However, I’d hate it if my blog with filled with more awards and lesser content. While I had declined re-nominations before, from now I’ll be adding it the same post. Starting from this. I really hope you guys don’t mind this.

I was nominated by:

Navin
His blog Navin’s poems is one of my favorite poem blogs. I truly admire the way his words touches my soul. Do check out his The T- Tour, it’s tautogram poem at it’s best!

Niharika
She has recently started her journey into exploring life and her love for words with her blog theniharikadiaries. She’s such a sweetheart and so are her words.

aarzu
It’s her nomination that struck this idea. Checkout her blog, I’m sure you’ll adore it.

Anushka
Her posts warms my heart, her comments make me smile, she’s a beautiful light in my blogging journey, who makes me want to keep writing. She’s the amazing person who inspired me to write one of my favorite poems, Deflecting Appreciation.

Tboy
His blog is literally a mixture of everything. One can never get bored reading his posts. Check them out!!

Buddingb
He’s humanist, non-conformist who likes to see the world as half full. A seeker who is yet find all his answers. Give his awesome blog a read.

Kashvi Dani
If you love books, you can definitely relate to her blog, A Bookworm’s Blog. Check it out, it’s amazing!!

Avni
If amazing poetry is what you’re on a hunt for, Avni’s Bookshelf is where you gotta go. She’s super-duper awesome!!

daneelynus
daneelyunus  is a blog about the knowledge of different categories such as education, , health, mobiles, and tourism. Check it out!

Kamya Seervi
In my opinion, Keeping up with Kamya is so much better than Keeping up with the Kardashians. It makes sense, has humor and everything else. Go check it out!

Moving forward, let me list down the rules you guys have laid out for me.

  1. Thank the blogger(s) who nominated you.
  2. Share 11 facts about yourself.
  3. Answer the 11 questions the blogger(s) asked you.
  4. Nominate 11 bloggers and make them happy!
  5. Make up to 11 questions and ask them to your nominees.
  6. Notify your 11 nominees.

11 facts about me
I like numbers, but when it comes to facts about me or things I love, I’d rather exclude it. Date and days never stick to my mind, and the names of places doesn’t hold any significance for me. I carry the memories in terms of emotions and how the day or place made me feel. That being told, if you’ve read my blog, you know me a lot more than people who known me personally. Loads of love to you!

Navin’s questions

1. What is your favorite food? Pizza!
2. What country are you from? Nepal.
3. What kind of music do you like? Depends on my mood.
4. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Nothing, I adore me!
5. Biggest regret in life? I’ve made a fair share of mistakes, but life is short for regrets.
6. Are you introvert or extrovert kind? Idk, depends!
7. What’s your passion? Words
8. Why do you follow my blog? Cause your works are so seamless and beautiful. I read them and think, I wish I could write like that.
9. If you were a drink (alcoholic or non-alcoholic), what would you be? I’d be a mixture of all. Believe me, I’m difficult to handle.
10. Do you believe in an afterlife? I do.
11. Do you believe in karma? Yep, and I don’t like her. Cause I keep doing stupid stuff.

Niharika’s questions

1. What is your favourite thing to blog about? Life!
2. What would be one thing that you would change that you did in your life? Nothing. All the mistakes I made, all the situations I’ve been in has shaped me to who I am today.
3. What is your favorite food to cook? Pasta!
4. What does love from God mean to you? This life is the love from God, enjoy it!
5. Hot dogs or hamburgers? Pizza!
6. What is your favorite TV show to watch? Idk, changes very often.
7. What would you be doing if snow came to your city? Enjoy it!
8. What are you thankful for? Life!
9. How long have you been blogging and how were you inspired? I’ve been on and off for years. This time, I’m here to stay. I hope.
10. What country do you live in and for how long? Nepal, it’s home.
11. What is your favorite food? Pizza
12. If you had a chance to do something over what would it be? Top secret 😛

aarzu’s questions:

  1. How do you relieve your stress? I cry, and I sleep.
  2. What’s your favourite timepass? Novels.
  3. Your dream destination. Arms of my beloved. 😉
  4. How was your life before coronavirus? It was nice, I guess.
  5. Choose one! (or you can choose more if you describe it) Is blogging/writing your * Profession * Passion * hobby * Timepass : I opt not to choose!
  6. 5 things you can’t live without at present. Air, Water, Family, Food, Clothes
  7. Any habit you wanna quit but struggling at it. (hey , here there is no one judging you, so relax and write, I like people who accept the reality) Laziness!
  8. Your favourite food/cuisine. Pizza!
  9. The activities you are doing during lockdown. Cook, eat, sleep, write, repeat!
  10. Choose one (where you would love to go when situation is back on track) : * Clubbing *Beaches * Mountains * Adventure Parks: Everywhere!
  11. The quote you would read at the time when life is not going the way you are expecting it to go. I’ll have to ask Google.

Anushka’s questions:

  1. When and how did you start bloggin ? Well, my closest friend, Amrutha started blogging and I just did what she did. We got busy with our life, I took down my blog, she continued posting occasionally, check out SENSITIVE Journalist. Somehow, I back with a new blog and hope to stay.
  2. Beaches or mountains? Both, minus the people.
  3. Would you rather read a book or watch a movie? Depends on my mood. I enjoy both! Maybe, I like books a little more, although I watch movies more often.
  4. How do you deal with stress? Cry and sleep.
  5. What appeals to you most, soul or appearance of a person? Deep conversations.
  6. If you could time travel, where would you go?To meet my grandmother who died before I was born. Or to my childhood. Idk!
  7. Are you a talker or a listener? Depends upon the person I’m with and my mood.
  8. Which do you prefer: calling or texting? Texting, always! Calling for something serious.
  9. What is friendship to you? I don’t think friendship can be defined in words.
  10. Which do you prefer: thriller, romance or adventure movies? Romance, always. But my favorite movie is The Pianist, which is not a romantic movie.

Tboy’s questions:

  1. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want? Body of a 30 year old with a wisdom of an old person
  2. When did you start blogging? & why?? Cause one of my closest friend did, we did everything together… 😛
  3. Would you consider online dating with someone from Africa? Seems interesting…
  4. If we were to become close friends, share an important thing you’d want me to know. It’s a secret you gotta find out!
  5. What’s the greatest accomplishment of your life? Being born?!
  6. What do you value most in relationships? The person I’m in a relationship with…
  7. What constitutes a ‘perfect day’ for you? Happiness!?
  8. Would you like to be famous? In what way? I’d like to be a famous writer. And if I don’t get fame, I’d still want to be a writer. Writing is peace!
  9. What are your guilty pleasures? I’m too guilty to state it!
  10. For what in your life do you feel most grateful for? Life itself!
  11. Take some time to share your life story in as much detail as possible. Wild Scared Crazy, it sums it up!

bubbingb’s questions:

  1. Which is your favorite city? The one I grew up in!
  2. If you get to know that you are going to die tomorrow, what would be your last conscious act? I’d write a tribute to my life.
  3. Where do you live? Nepal
  4. Favorite food? Pizza. Extra cheese, please?!
  5. Where did you travel last? Titsung
  6. How would you define love? It’s difficult to define a feeling so vast.
  7. What is essence of life for you? Happiness!
  8. If someone cheats on you, will you accept him/her back within your present framework of reason? Depends…
  9. Beach or mountains? Both!
  10. Road trip in bike or Car? On foot!
  11. If you answered the above ten already, you are kind souls. thank you. Awww… you’re so sweet!

Kashvi Dani’s Questions:

  1. What are your hobbies? Reading, sleeping, day-dreaming!
  2. Which person inspires you the most? A newborn baby, so carefree and loving!
  3. What is your favourite quote? I’m born a star, don’t try carving me into a gem!- Me.
  4. What’s your dream job? The one that I quit. Oh, how I miss it!! I hope to get back to it once I get a degree. But, who knows? I may have a different dream.
  5. Who’s your favourite fictional character? She’s yet to be created.
  6. What book do you want to recommend everyone? Wuthering Heights!!
  7. If you could visit any one fictional world, which one would it be? The one in my mind!
  8. Share your most embarrassing moment. Nah. Not gonna relive it here!
  9. If you could bring a fictional character to the real world, who would it be? Idk!
  10. What’s your favourite cuisine? Pizza!!
  11. Describe your life before you started blogging and after you started blogging. I always thought making friends wasn’t my forte. Blogging has been proving me wrong. I love you, all my blogging friends. I hope you don’t fade away.

Avni’s Questions:

  1. If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Watermelon!
  2. Who is your favorite author? Everyone!
  3. Who is your hero? Dada!
  4. If you could live anywhere, where would it be? Clouds.
  5. What is your biggest fear? This!
  6. Do you have any pet peeves? A lot!
  7. Which meal is your favorite: breakfast, lunch, or dinner? None, I like snacking in between!
  8. What song always gets you out on the dance floor? Idk, depends!
  9. When you were a kid, did you eat the crusts on your sandwich or not? I did!
  10. What activity instantly calms you? Writing, star-gazing, reading, sleeping…
  11. Ideally, how would you spend your birthday? Reading a book alone. Please don’t spoil my birthday by throwing a party!

daneelynus’ Questions:

  1. What is your favorite thing to blog about?Life!
  2. Why is blogging important in our time? Idk, I do it cause I love it!
  3. Do you ever think that you could have started this blogging journey much before then you actually did? I deleted my previous blog.
  4. What’s your favorite book and why? Wuthering Heights, Safe Haven, True Believer, the list goes on… To know why, read it!
  5. What is your favorite cuisine? Pizza!
  6. What is the one characteristic you find in all your close ones? Idk, love?!
  7. Why is self-realization important for you? I have no idea!
  8. What are you thankful for? Life!
  9. What is the source of your blog inspiration? Life!
  10. What is your life motto? Be happy!
  11. If you had a chance to do something over what would it be? Nothing. All the stupid things I have done has made me what I am today!

Kamya Seervi’s Questions:

  1. “If you want to become a Great Writer, you have to be a Great Reader”, do you agree to this? Totally!
  2. What is the Purpose of your blog? It’s a safe haven for my thoughts
  3. Give two good and two bad habits of yours. I trust people easily and I forget people easily. They’re both good and bad.
  4. According to you, what defines a Writer? The words.
  5. Would you travel or rather read a book at home? Read a book on a hill, far far away!
  6. What is your favourite genre? Anything fiction.
  7. How are you spending your time in this lockdown? Trying to work, trying to study… but not actually doing anything.
  8. Which is your favourite book? Wuthering Heights, maybe. Depends on my mood.
  9. What would you do, if you get an extra day in a year? I’d write, a little more.
  10. Where would you visit after the COVID-19 Pandemic is gone? Delhi!
  11. What else you do apart from blogging? I write articles. I also write ad content, and develop full-fledged marketing communication. I make resumes and write cover letters too. But, nothing is free, I need to pay my bills. 😉

My nominees are every single one of you who reads this.

And for the questions, choose 11 questions from above or make your own 11 questions. Anything that makes you feel comfortable.

Loads of love and thanks a million. This has been fun!

Love,
Wild Heart aka. Shreya

Writing is easy; being a writer, not so much!

Writer life

I remember the time when I used to hold a pen and words formed in mind, seamlessly, with zero beak it fell beautifully onto the paper. I remember writing for fun, the blissful feeling it gave me. Writing was my therapy, something I love doing.

From school essays to poems in my diary, each piece I wrote gave me kind of thrill that made me want for more. I wouldn’t say I was the best in class, but I was the happiest when I wrote. That’s when I decided writing is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

Being an above average student, my decision to take up Arts as a major definitely shook my parents. I persisted. I fought tooth and nail, and now I’m a writer. I got what I wanted, but now that they journey began I realized it’s not all fairy tales and roses.

I started off as a freelance writer for a magazine then went on to become an advertising copy-writer. Believe me, I love my job. But it’s always not that easy.  While everybody expects me to come up with snappy, quirky, humorous and amazing lines; some days I can’t even come up with simple words. It gets frustrating at times. Some days I question my skill as a writer. Some days I wonder if my parents were right, should I have chosen a different profession?

And while work-days pass, by hook or crook I whip up some lines. While some lines pass, most come back to be rewritten, it gets kinda demotivating.  The flare that I once had, seems disappearing. It’s hard when words don’t come out.

But being a writer, you’re getting paid for writing. You can’t just write when the words hit. I gotta take the words out, the blank sheet must be filled. It can’t be filled with just anything, I should be nice stuff that sells. That’s where the trouble begins. The nice stuff! That’s how everything comes spiraling down.

After putting lots of pressure on my brain to write good stuff, I gave up. I started writing crap. Literal crap. Something I’d not show to anybody. But as crap lines followed by more crap lines comes, so does words. I don’t always get the perfect lines, but at least I get something. I keep writing until it’s not so crappy anymore. Then I edit, re-edit, and make something that’s not as crappy as the first draft. I send it off, and hope it’s good to go!

Some days it works, some days I gotta start from scratch. But here’s something I learnt: to give myself the liberty to write crap. That’s the only one way I can go on, putting pressure on myself to create a masterpiece will only kill my creativity, nothing else.

So, I’m gonna hold my pen, embrace the joy of writing and have fun.

Happy writing!!

I love you!

Poetry, Writer life

A million and one ways to say I love you 
But none seems to suit you. 

I’d go down on my knees for you,
But that’s too cliched. 
You deserve something more intricate, 
Something original, just as you are. 

I’d promise you a life time,
But that would be the greatest lie.
For neither you nor I,
Know what the future holds. 

I’d say I’ll keep you happy,
But I’ve let you down too many times.
And as much as I’d try,
I’d don’t trust myself. 

I’d say you’re the reason I smile, 
But you’re also the reason I cry.
You’ve hurt me like no one else,
We’ve had good days and bad days. 

I’d write you a poetry,
But words are too less to describe you.
I’d give you a bouquet of roses,
But that would just dry away. 

So darling, can you just read my eyes?
Hear the words unsaid & feelings unexpressed. 

Featured image by: Daria Shevtsova from Pexels

A Woman Must Be…

Poetry, Writer life

Pure,’ they say,
A woman must be pure.’
Untouched by any other man,
That’s reserved only for her husband. 

Skilled,’ they say,
A woman must be skilled.’
An expert in all household chores,
Prefect to move into her husband’s home. 

Soft,’ they say,
A woman must be soft.
Never voicing a word of objection,
Quiet and humble, even when she’s trampled.

Pretty,’ they say,
A woman must be pretty.
Put on all the make-up in the world,
Conceal the blemishes, scars, the true beauty. 

Employed,’ they say,
A woman must be employed.’
Not draining a man’s income,
But earn lesser, you can’t injure a man’s ego.

Independent,’ they say,
A woman must be independent.’
But the whole house can be dependent on her,
Be it office or home, she has to excel at both. 

Don’t give a damn,’ I say,
A woman must be who she wants to be.’
Spread your wings, chase you dreams,
You write your own destiny! 

Image by LwcyD from Pixabay