I remember the time when I used to hold a pen and words formed in mind, seamlessly, with zero beak it fell beautifully onto the paper. I remember writing for fun, the blissful feeling it gave me. Writing was my therapy, something I love doing.
From school essays to poems in my diary, each piece I wrote gave me kind of thrill that made me want for more. I wouldn’t say I was the best in class, but I was the happiest when I wrote. That’s when I decided writing is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
Being an above average student, my decision to take up Arts as a major definitely shook my parents. I persisted. I fought tooth and nail, and now I’m a writer. I got what I wanted, but now that they journey began I realized it’s not all fairy tales and roses.
I started off as a freelance writer for a magazine then went on to become an advertising copy-writer. Believe me, I love my job. But it’s always not that easy. While everybody expects me to come up with snappy, quirky, humorous and amazing lines; some days I can’t even come up with simple words. It gets frustrating at times. Some days I question my skill as a writer. Some days I wonder if my parents were right, should I have chosen a different profession?
And while work-days pass, by hook or crook I whip up some lines. While some lines pass, most come back to be rewritten, it gets kinda demotivating. The flare that I once had, seems disappearing. It’s hard when words don’t come out.
But being a writer, you’re getting paid for writing. You can’t just write when the words hit. I gotta take the words out, the blank sheet must be filled. It can’t be filled with just anything, I should be nice stuff that sells. That’s where the trouble begins. The nice stuff! That’s how everything comes spiraling down.
After putting lots of pressure on my brain to write good stuff, I gave up. I started writing crap. Literal crap. Something I’d not show to anybody. But as crap lines followed by more crap lines comes, so does words. I don’t always get the perfect lines, but at least I get something. I keep writing until it’s not so crappy anymore. Then I edit, re-edit, and make something that’s not as crappy as the first draft. I send it off, and hope it’s good to go!
Some days it works, some days I gotta start from scratch. But here’s something I learnt: to give myself the liberty to write crap. That’s the only one way I can go on, putting pressure on myself to create a masterpiece will only kill my creativity, nothing else.
So, I’m gonna hold my pen, embrace the joy of writing and have fun.